Tuesday, April 14, 2009
"I think I'm finally growing up - and about time."
Look at those goofy guys. The one is the back seat, with the ridiculous hair, is me. The other two are two of my best friends, Rodger and Matt. This picture was taken in January of 2002, when we, somewhat spontaneously, took a week long road trip to Southern California, to attend a concert (Unwritten Law and No Motiv).
Nostalgia is a word that's always fascinated me. I can be a pretty sentimental person, so certain things that make me feel nostalgic can make me feel pretty sad that "the good old days" are gone. As a recent college graduate, husband, father, and potential yuppie, I find that most of what made me who I was when I was younger has disintegrated. I'm no longer in a band; I only play guitar as a hobby. I can no longer define myself by simply stating the music I listen to; I used to be a "punk rocker", now I'm just a guy that loves all kinds of music. Basically, everything in my youth that made me an individual (whether real or imagined) has been replaced by something else.
Let me just say that I love my life, and I would give up pretty much anything for the sake of my family. All the above mentioned "traits" have been replaced by my standing as a "family man". Even though the thought of such a thing would have terrified me in my younger days, for various reasons, I jumped into it all fairly quickly, and haven't done much looking back. The only artifact I have from that time in my life is the music.
The reason for this post is because I recently dusted off my copy of Jimmy Eat World's "Clarity". As I drove around listening to it, I came to the realization that, although it's still an enjoyable listen, it's not anywhere near where it used to be in terms of current relevance. I used to be a sucker for any album that contained clean guitar arpeggios and a melodramatic delivery. But nowadays, most sounds along those lines sound old and recycled. Sure, I can throw in a record by Jimmy Eat World, Mineral, or any other like minded band, and take a trip back in time. But the fact of the matter is, for the most part, that's all those albums are good for. As I've gotten older I've discovered, and grown to love, new types of music that I'm able to much better relate to.
I guess what it amounts to is that I'm growing up. Even though it's a daunting prospect, such a thing is gradual enough that I've been able to ease into it. I don't think I'll ever be able to be as care free as I was back then, but who at 26 is able to live like they did when they were 18? The only people that truly can are probably people that I'm not interested in being like. All I know is that my life is changing, and the music I listen to is changing along with it. Even though this is a little unsettling, it's also fitting, and makes me look forward to whatever the future will bring.